一生须做的父母八问

　　5. What thing in your life made you the happiest or the proudest?

　　你一生中感到最高兴或者最骄傲的事情是什么？

　　Let’s talk about the good things in their lives; their achievements, joys and moments of pride. You may yourself feature there.

　　让父母们回想当年的峥嵘岁月，他们取得的成就，获得的快乐，他们最自豪的时刻。说不定，你就在这些高兴事和骄傲事之中。

　　6. What is your biggest regret? What would you have done differently?

　　你最大的遗憾是什么？如果可以重来，你会怎么做？

　　Perhaps this is a sad area that you would rather not explore but sometimes the answer can be revealing and explain things about your parents that you did not realise or understand.

　　也许这是你最不愿意去探究的父母的伤心事，不过答案有时却可以启发人心，而且会让你认识到父母另外一面，你从未意识到或者不理解的一面。

　　7. What event had the biggest impact on you?

　　什么事情对你的影响最大？

　　Perhaps it was something to do with a war or a disaster. What was it that made a big impression? See if you can learn exactly how they felt and reacted at the time. It might put something you had only ever read about into the personal context of your parent。

　　或许，这些对父母影响深远的事情与战争、灾难有关。到底是什么事情产生了这么大的影响？看看你是否真的能体会到父母当时的感受，明白他们当时的所作所为。这些事可能你平常只在书上才会读到。

　　8. What plans should we make for the future?

　　你们去世后，我该做些什么？

　　Many people feel uncomfortable talking about future plans that include what happens after their parents pass. But these are important issues and it is better to broach them. Where will they live if they can no longer manage where they are? Is there a will? What do they want to do with the heirlooms? What sort of funeral would they want?

　　很多人谈到父母去世后的打算都讳莫如深。但这些事情都是大事，最好跟父母先沟通一下。去世后，想安葬在哪里？有没有立下遗嘱？家里的传家宝要怎么处理？要举办什么样的葬礼？

　　The next time your see your aging parents don’t just talk about minor domestic matters. Try raising some of the big questions above and then listen carefully to their answers. You may be surprised at what you learn.

　　下次再和年迈的父母聊天时，别尽说些鸡毛蒜皮的琐事，跟他们聊聊上面提到的这些话题，洗耳恭听父母的回答，没准，你还会吃惊不已呢！