一篇作文,三种写法,都是满分


来源:网络整理
发布时间:2016-02-23 23:50:00
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内容提要:引导的非限定性定语从句,从而使文章层次分明,富于变化,不愧为考场佳作。

 

【作文题目】
假设你是李华,你的英国笔友Bob将于九月到你所在城市的建新华文学校学中文,来信请你在学校附近为他找一套住房。请写信介绍住房的情况(在梵高街,可乘11路公交车经过一站到达建新华文学校,住房在三层,共三个房间:一个卧室、一个厨房和一个浴室),并告知住房面积为25平方米,月租500元。
注意:1.词数:100左右: 2.参考词汇:房租 rent(n.).
【满分作文1】
 
Dear Bob,
    I’m very happy to receive your letter, and I’m glad to hear that you will go to China to learn Chinese here.
 
I have already found a flat for you. It is on Fangcao Street, which is not far from Jianxin Chinese School. Bus No.11 can take you there, and it is one stop before the Chinese School. The flat is on the third floor with 3 rooms, one of which is bedroom, the other two are bathroom and kitchen. There are a bed, a sofa, a desk and some chairs in this 25 square-metres small flat, and the rent is 500 yuan per month.
 
Maybe this flat is not as good as your wish, but I’ll try my best to meet your needs. If it is not suitable enough, write to me and I will look for another better place.
 
Hope you will come here soon!
 
All the best!
 
Yours,
Li Hua
 
满分理由
本文格式正确,意思表述完整,行文流畅自然。作者在写作过程中注意长短句并用,还使用了以‘which,’引导的非限定性定语从句,从而使文章层次分明,富于变化,不愧为考场佳作。
【满分作文2】
 
Dear Bob,
Welcome to China! You wrote to me to find a place for you.
 
I have found an apartment on Fangcao Street near Jianxin Chinese School. It is on the third floor and there’re three rooms in it: a bedroom, a kitchen, and a bathroom. There is a bed, a sofa, a desk and a chair in the bedroom. The house is 25 square metres and the rent is 500 yuan per month.
 
Also from this house you can get to your school easily. Just take the No.11 bus at the bus-stop in front of the building. It is only one stop. At last, will you please tell me the time you arrive? Then I’ll be able to meet you at the airport.   
 
I am looking forward to seeing you.
 
Best wishes !
 
Yours,
 
Li Hua
 
满分理由
本文格式正确,内容完整,表述清楚,衔接紧密流畅,时态语态使用准确,特别是结尾末段适度的发挥,既充实了内容,又符合逻辑,成为本文与众不同的亮点。
【满分作文3】
 
Dear Bob,
How are you these days? I’m so glad to know that you’ll come to our city to learn Chinese.
 
You asked me to find a place for you. Now I’ve found one which I think is pretty good. The place is on Fang Cao Street which is near the No.11 bus stop. It’s just one stop away from Jianxin Chinese School.
 
There are three rooms, a kitchen, a bathroom and a bedroom. Though it is not very big, only 25 square metres, I think it is suitable. By the way, the rent is 500 yuan per month. I hope you’ll like it. If not, I’ll try to find another place for you.
Yours,
Li Hua
 
满分理由
本文内在逻辑性很强,由远及近。由外及内,层次分明,错落有致。同时让步状语从句运用得恰到好处,很出彩,再则结构完整,从开头的问候语到结尾都很完备。

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