双语阅读 | 犯错是学习新事物的一部分

I am a professor of clinical psychology. Some time ago, I got halfway through a day of teaching before a co-worker pointed out to me I was quite carelessly wearing a different pair of shoes, one red and one black. I felt so embarrassed and upset but I would have to go teach my course like this. When I noticed how much I wanted to disappear and avoid this situation, I was determined to face it instead. I walked into class and announced to the students that I was wearing two shoes from different pairs, and directed their attention to my feet. Everyone laughed and we went on with class. Years later, a student in that class told me that this was the moment she first thought that maybe, just maybe, she could be a professor, too.

I shared my mistake because I realized that trying to hide it was interfering with my ability to concentrate my mind on my teaching - but I had no idea that it would also help shorten the psychological distance between my students and myself.

Many contexts may punish or shame people for making mistakes. Our efforts to avoid them result from our desires for success, and how others will respond to our mistakes. We might feel self-criticism and shame if we do make some.

However, mistake-making is part of learning new things, and it can draw us closer to others. It opens up the possibility of accepting mistakes gladly, letting us be more open and engaged in what we are doing.

We can say words of kindness and self-compassion to ourselves: Mistakes are natural and human; we can be kind to ourselves for this error and still try to do better next time; noticing our own imperfections can help us to be kind to others when we notice they are imperfect, too. When we practice our mistakes in this way, they can become opportunities to open up to others, learn about ourselves, and connect even more with what matters to us.