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内容提要:今后的岁月里,我将继续讲我的故事。
I knew why she was worried. Talkative kids are not well thought of in our village, for they can bring trouble to themselves and to their families. There is a bit of a young me in the talkative boy who falls afoul of villagers in my story “Bulls.” Mother habitually cautioned me not to talk so much, wanting me to be a taciturn, smooth and steady youngster. Instead I was possessed of a dangerous combination – remarkable speaking skills and the powerful desire that went with them. My ability to tell stories brought her joy, but that created a dilemma for her. 俗话说“江山易改、本性难移”,尽管我有父母亲的谆谆教导,但我并没有改掉我喜欢说话的天性,这使得我的名字“莫言”,很像对自己的讽刺。 A popular saying goes “It is easier to change the course of a river than a person’s nature.” Despite my parents’ tireless guidance, my natural desire to talk never went away, and that is what makes my name – Mo Yan, or “don’t speak” – an ironic expression of self-mockery. 我小学未毕业即辍学,因为年幼体弱,干不了重活,只好到荒草滩上去放牧牛羊。当我牵着牛羊从学校门前路过,看到昔日的同学在校园里打打闹闹,我心中充满悲凉,深深地体会到一个人,哪怕是一个孩子,离开群体后的痛苦。 After dropping out of elementary school, I was too small for heavy labor, so I became a cattle- and sheep-herder on a nearby grassy riverbank. The sight of my former schoolmates playing in the schoolyard when I drove my animals past the gate always saddened me and made me aware of how tough it is for anyone – even a child – to leave the group. 到了荒滩上,我把牛羊放开,让它们自己吃草。蓝天如海,草地一望无际,周围看不到一个人影,没有人的声音,只有鸟儿在天上鸣叫。我感到很孤独,很寂寞,心里空空荡荡。有时候,我躺在草地上,望着天上懒洋洋地飘动着的白云,脑海里便浮现出许多莫名其妙的幻象。我们那地方流传着许多狐狸变成美女的故事,我幻想着能有一个狐狸变成美女与我来作伴放牛,但她始终没有出现。但有一次,一只火红色的狐狸从我面前的草丛中跳出来时,我被吓得一屁股蹲在地上。狐狸跑没了踪影,我还在那里颤抖。有时候我会蹲在牛的身旁,看着湛蓝的牛眼和牛眼中的我的倒影。有时候我会模仿着鸟儿的叫声试图与天上的鸟儿对话,有时候我会对一棵树诉说心声。但鸟儿不理我,树也不理我。许多年后,当我成为一个小说家,当年的许多幻想,都被我写进了小说。很多人夸我想象力丰富,有一些文学爱好者,希望我能告诉他们培养想象力的秘诀,对此,我只能报以苦笑。 I turned the animals loose on the riverbank to graze beneath a sky as blue as the ocean and grass-carpeted land as far as the eye could see – not another person in sight, no human sounds, nothing but bird calls above me. I was all by myself and terribly lonely; my heart felt empty. Sometimes I lay in the grass and watched clouds float lazily by, which gave rise to all sorts of fanciful images. That part of the country is known for its tales of foxes in the form of beautiful young women, and I would fantasize a fox-turned-beautiful girl coming to tend animals with me. She never did come. Once, however, a fiery red fox bounded out of the brush in front of me, scaring my legs right out from under me. I was still sitting there trembling long after the fox had vanished. Sometimes I’d crouch down beside the cows and gaze into their deep blue eyes, eyes that captured my reflection. At times I’d have a dialogue with birds in the sky, mimicking their cries, while at other times I’d divulge my hopes and desires to a tree. But the birds ignored me, and so did the trees. Years later, after I’d become a novelist, I wrote some of those fantasies into my novels and stories. People frequently bombard me with compliments on my vivid imagination, and lovers of literature often ask me to divulge my secret to developing a rich imagination. My only response is a wan smile. 就像中国的先贤老子所说的那样:“福兮祸之所伏,福祸福所倚”,我童年辍学,饱受饥饿、孤独、无书可读之苦,但我因此也像我们的前辈作家沈从文那样,及早地开始阅读社会人生这本大书。前面所提到的到集市上去听说数人说书,仅仅是这本大书中的一页。 扫描二维码手机查看
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